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A good follow up to my thoughts
Posted By: Halder, Jon On: 14 Jul 2016 08:08:32

Psalms 101 ESV
I Will Walk with Integrity
A Psalm of David.
I will sing of steadfast love and justice;
to you, O LORD, I will make music.
I will ponder the way that is blameless.
Oh when will you come to me?
I will walk with integrity of heart
within my house;
I will not set before my eyes
anything that is worthless.
I hate the work of those who fall away;
it shall not cling to me.
A perverse heart shall be far from me;
I will know nothing of evil.
Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly
I will destroy.
Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart
I will not endure.
I will look with favor on the faithful in the land,
that they may dwell with me;
he who walks in the way that is blameless
shall minister to me.
No one who practices deceit
shall dwell in my house;
no one who utters lies
shall continue before my eyes.
Morning by morning I will destroy
all the wicked in the land,
cutting off all the evildoers
from the city of the LORD.

Posted By: Halder, Jon On: 14 Jul 2016 08:08:31
7/14/16 Daily Journal Entry
Posted By: Halder, Jon On: 14 Jul 2016 07:51:32

Very tired today Lord,  the dog was barking at 1:14AM.  I didn't get up until maybe 5:45AM, so now it is already 6:30AM and I should be doing breakfast.  I was thinking I would just work on my testimony today...  I have a short work day tomorrow.  Work is not a priority and I feel it should be.  You want me to take care of my family and have provided me the work and the ability.  What will you say when I am standing before your throne?  On the one hand all is forgiven, on the other I will certainly not be rewarded for all my screwups.  I don't want you to say I can't enter your rest!  That would really be scary.  Hebrews 4.  I just went and read the first part at the Spirit's prompting and heard God say in my thoughts that I would enter His rest while I was reading Hebrews 4:2.  I am united with those who believe by faith.  I am not afraid I will completely fall away, but I am afraid I might compromise.  I do compromise, or I want to compromise - A LOT.  Why do I want to do things the world's way?  I don't really, do I?  God loves me and is perfect.  He has designed the perfect way for me to live, in loving and secure relationships with Him and others.  I hose it up because of fear of confrontation and conflict, fear of being hurt, pride of wanting to be right.

So how do I compromise?  I am not meditating or considering or thinking on God's ways specifically as I am doing most things during the day.  Do I know God's ways?  Not as well as I should.  Or maybe I am simply not dwelling on them like I should.  In Hebrew, the word Da'at (to know) refers to experiential knowledge - not just knowing about something, but having real experience with how that something works, in relationship, to know is to be in an active relationship, talking, knowing and learning how the other reacts and responds, understanding their thoughts and moving towards a shared experience.  I think most of my compromise is isolating myself from God and being absorbed by my own thoughts and fears for others, resentments of others, etc.  Isa 26:3 says God will keep me at peace if I keep my mind on him.  Often I am kind of numb.  That's not peace, it's denial of my anxiety.

Well, right now I am doing well.  I am examining myself and looking at God's ways and seeking to be in His presence.  Just realized I am using your name in third person God!  You are my God, the King of the Universe!  Help my mental dialog to always include You and remember your presence with me.  If I don't feel your presence I will look for sin in my life and repent.  Forgive me Lord for so often not giving You the place You deserve in my life.

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